A Mother’s Letter – #2

By Deborah Cross Werner

Dear Jamie,

Your Aunt Melissa sent me this: (Author unknown)

“The moment that you left me

my heart was split in two

one side was filled with memories

the other side died with you.

I often lie awake at night

when the world is fast asleep

and take a walk down memory lane

with tears upon my cheek.

Remembering you is easy

I do it every day

but missing you is a heartache

that never goes away.

I hold you tightly within my heart

and there you will remain

you see life has gone on without you

but will never be the same.”

I have not read anything so very true since you passed away. The moment you left me, my heart split in two. Literally it is like having a heart attack; the pain was and is so intense. At times I have trouble catching my breath. Perhaps half my heart really has died.

I do lie awake at night and walk down memory lane. I always remember your smile, your way of making me feel fantastic when I tried a new recipe. You very quietly came in with spices to make it better. I knew what you were doing and loved you for it.

I loved hearing you talk about your kids at school- you thought they were very special and wanted to help them any way you could.  And, your enthusiasm on the football field could not be compared to many. Your love for the game and your teammates was electric. Your love for animals was so sweet. I am sure you can see how Stephen has helped Jak to survive your death. His seizures have stopped and he wags his tail again.

I remember how much you loved your initials: JBW.  Morgan has made me a necklace with your initials on it.  I remember whenever Dad and I would walk into Shenanigans you were there for us, waiting on us every step of the way.

How could I forget when you were having football pictures taken and you asked the photographer if your mom could be in the picture. Or the time you bought your future girlfriend home to meet me early one Saturday, just because you thought we should have coffee together.

You always kissed me for good luck in front of your football team. You danced with me when I liked the music on the radio. For some reason I never embarrassed you. Even when you were very, very sick we would read in the sunroom together and enjoy each other’s quiet company. You will be forever in the broken part of my heart.

Remembering you is easy and we talk about you with anyone who will listen and although life will go on and new memories will be made, I will cherish the memories I have with you!

I love you Jamie,

Mom